You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours