ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.