ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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