Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize