I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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