i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
