Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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