I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
