he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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