I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."