Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
barbara walters just said penis...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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