What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.