I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
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I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
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In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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