It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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