Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize