I wanna passion pit in your ass
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
