She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
