You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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