my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
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Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
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Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.