you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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