What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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