I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize