Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
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Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
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There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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