my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
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After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
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I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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