Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
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