I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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