Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
try to milk me bitch
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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