thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
