You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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