4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
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Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.