Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.