he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
