you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
wrigley field is MILF paradise
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
