Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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