You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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