come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
