Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
