Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
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I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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