your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
