thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize