her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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