Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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