Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
