I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize