What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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