Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize