Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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