After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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