Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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