I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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