Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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