I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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