areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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