Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize