I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
